by

Four years have passed

Mum left us just before the Russian invasion of Ukraine. Her yahrzeit (the annual remembrance) corresponds to the Hebrew date of her passing. The English date was February 21st and the Hebrew date the 20th Adar. She was 94 years old and ready to take her leave and we knew that it was time to let her go.

My brother and I were so blessed to have wonderful parents and a mother who was along with our father (as is said colloquially these days) “always there for us.”

Those who have read my recently published book, ‘Cohencidence’, can read about Mum in her own words and see many photographs. Here are some from different times in Mum’s life.

A little girl – an only child who grew up in great poverty but with kind and decent parents who loved her and loved each other.
She met dad at the seaside – they were 18 and both had left school early and been out at work for several years.

In 65 years of marriage there was fun and friendship, adventures and dancing, cards and golf, family and work and so much love and laughter

Mum was a chubby teenager but later became svelte and stunning
Family holidays on a shoestring but always happy and enjoyable, driving the Austin 1100 car across to France or Italy and staying in small hotels by the beach
Mum looked glamorous in the 60s and 70s enjoyed the nightlife – casinos, shows, theatres, film premieres and ladies’ nights – with her dancing partner, dad

Always dancing, always smiling theirs was a marriage built to withstand the stresses of teenage children and elderly parents.

At Disney Land, Orlando – their treat to us on a whim 34 years ago in a February half term
Mum the golfer – took up the sport in her 50s and was chosen as captain of the club in 1993
Mum with boxer Henry Cooper at a charity golf match

Always sociable and surrounded by friends and work colleagues and close to her female cousins – Mum really was beloved by all. She always “did the right thing” and taught us to do the same. But it was with a lightness of touch, genuine concern for others and with humour and love.

Last night a friend was sorting through old papers and found this letter my mother had written to her mother – they weren’t social friends but knew each other through us, their daughters.

A note, a thank you, a call, a small gift – she taught her children, my brother and me, how to behave to make the world a more civilised place
On holiday in later years
With their first great grandchild
There was no one I preferred to spend time with. We told each other secrets, we gossiped but it went no further than us and we always, always laughed together

There is so much more I could say but, honestly, much of it is in the book and describes her life (and dads) from their earliest years, through the war and evacuation, work, marriage, parenthood, the glamour years and the winding down later through to a quieter but still sociable and charitable retirement.

I know I was proud to have her as my mum and I know that she was proud of her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. We miss her every day.

Leave a comment