Once upon a time I cooked meals for guests and they ate them (and seemed to enjoy them or politely said they had). Then we moved to The Gables and catered for larger groups of friends, often for a complete weekend.

An occasional voice would pipe up, “I can’t eat wheat” when they had already arrived and it was impossible to amend the menu so we started to email in advance to ask what food intolerances might be encountered. Mistake! One couldn’t eat onion, another garlic, one was gluten free (except when she fancied a slice of cake!), several were vegan but made exceptions for Gables eggs and goat cheese, another only ate raw food – mostly! A relative gave me a whole list of good she wouldn’t eat because she was on a diet and then ignored them and ate what everyone else was eating. I had to invent special dishes substituting leeks for onions in one soup and making two pots of soup when one should have been sufficient. It’s gotten beyond a joke and, frankly, I don’t believe a lot of what people tell me. I watch!

As the Sabbath has departed I am cooking for a group arriving tomorrow (yes, of course, some have special dietary requirements). I am also watching a YouTube video of the wacky comedian Paul Foot – and laughing